Putin on the Ritz 1
“Shall we danceski comrade?”

From our double vision correspondent

You know that Mr Putin out of the Russian government? Well, apparently he’s the world’s greatest ballroom dancer. His mum was a famous ballet dancer and it was her that trained him up. She wanted him to be a ballet dancer too, but he told her that people might think he was a poof and he’s got a point.

Anyway, he’s won the ballroom dancing world title 15 times on the spin but nobody knows it’s him because he always wears a mask – a bit like that Kendo Nagasaki geezer out of the wrestling on ITV.

He’s coming to London next month to be a judge in Strictly Ballroom. Apparently, he’s taking over from Len Goodman who’s only got 3 weeks to live due to a brain tumour.

Absolutely true that is. Bruce Forsythe’s old woman told me when I was decorating her kitchen the other day. Nice woman – although to be fair, I think she fancied me and was after a bunk up. I gave it the swerve mind you. After all, Brucie was weighing me out good money for the job and you don’t like to take the piss do yers?

Be lucky.