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Two posh blokes demonstrate how not to fight over a fair maiden

Police were called to Whitechapel Market yesterday afternoon after a fight broke out between two stallholders. The men came to blows over the right to pitch their stall opposite an Indian ladies outfitters where a number of young women worked as sales staff, including an extremely attractive Hindu girl that had seemingly caught the eye of the two combatants.

The fight started after one of the men moved his rival’s stall 10 yards further down the road while he went to the toilet so he could position his own stall directly opposite the shop in which the focus of his amorous attention worked.

The two men, Mohammad Anwar, 25, from Bow, and Abdul Alnafisi, 23, from Shoreditch, were arrested and charged with affray and will appear in court next week. The market inspector has also ordered both men to move their stalls to opposite ends of the market, one facing a halal butcher, and the other a shoe shop run by two Turkish homosexuals.

The young lady at the centre of the furore who gave her name as Mina Delli, expressed surprise when told of the incident: “I had noticed the two young men staring into the shop from time to time, but to be honest, neither of them were particularly nice-looking and they certainly weren’t my type at all”

She then explained she was already engaged to a Jewish tailor’s cutter from Golders Green to whom she would be getting married next Saturday before moving to Jerusalem in March.

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