Hundreds of excited comic book enthusiasts flocked to the East End of London yesterday when it was announced that a gent’s outfitters in Whitechapel, specialising in clothing for the clinically obese, was to be opened by Marvel Comics anti-hero, The Incredible Hulk.
The proprietor of the store, “Broad In The Beam,” Mr Toby Dell, 59, spoke to The Whitechapel Whelk shortly before the arrival of the popular rampaging brute:
“This is an absolutely tremendous coup for the business and a real fillip for East London. I can’t believe The Hulk agreed to come at such short notice, as I know for a fact he’s had a pretty busy time of it lately. Only last week, he spent over 2 hours locked in a grim life or death struggle battling The Submariner, 5000 leagues beneath The Atlantic Ocean. On top of that, he then spent the entire weekend being strafed and bombed by a squadron of USAF F16 fighter jets in the Arizona Desert. So it’s a wonderful gesture on his part and we can’t thank the big fella enough.”
It is believed that the monosyllabic, green behemoth was swayed into coming when he learned of the new, expanding latex trouser range, which the shop are hoping to launch in the spring – presumably so that he’ll be able to invest in a pair himself to avoid the expense of continuously forking out for new ones after he’s split a pair during his metamorphosis from mild-mannered, Dr. Bruce Banner.
After he’d cut the tape and signed autographs for clamouring fans, we asked the brooding, green monolith how he was enjoying his stay in the UK, upon which he snatched a Sky News helicopter from the sky and hurled it to the ground, bellowing, “Him hurt Hulk!” He then bounded back to America with mighty leaps, using US Navy battleships in The Atlantic as springboards.
This latest publicity coup comes just weeks after Wonder Woman presided over the opening of a store in Bethnal Green specialising in ladies rubber knickers.