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Did you know that Donald Trump was actually born black? Well he was; but due to a series of traumatic incidents in his childhood he turned white with ginger hair.

The thing was, his dad was so tight with money he wouldn’t buy Trump’s mum a mop to do the kitchen floor, so she used to tie the infant Donald to a stick and would use his hair to mop up any spills that had occurred during food preparation, cooking etc.

Over the years, his hair gradually wore away and his skin turned white due to all the bleach. Only his feet are now black, which is why you never see Trump with no shoes on.

When his hair finally grew back it was thin and wispy with a distinctive ginger colouring. Psychologists believe this is why he’s such a mad fucker today and why he’s got it in for the blacks and wetbacks etc.

Absolutely true that is. Hilary Clinton told me down the pub.

from our foreign correspondent who writes about stuff that’s nothing to do with Whitechapel and who lives in other countries sometimes.

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