In a thrilling finish at a branch of Car Giant in Spitalfields, East London, a woman from Whitechapel last night clinched the coveted, World Car Door Slamming title, beating five hundred other females representing countries from all over the world; the first time the prize has been wrested from American grasp since its inception in 1947.
Mrs Tracy Dell, 29, managed to slam 60 car doors unnecessarily hard in two minutes and forty five seconds, smashing the world record by a hefty 9.4 seconds.
Speaking to reporters afterwards, Mrs Dell, married with 5 children, said: “This is the proudest day of my life without doubt. I’ve been slamming car doors with excessive violence ever since my husband Ted bought an Austin Maxi in 1978 and I managed to completely destroy the lock striker plates within 6 weeks of him buying it. However, this has to be my greatest achievement by far. I can’t wait to ring my mum and tell her my news. She’ll be absolutely delighted for me, as it was actually her that set me on the road to success, with her constant slamming of the passenger door on my dad’s Bull Nose Morris until the hinges gave out, and the little indicator that used to pop out of the side fell off. What a day for all the women in our family!”
We tried to get a few words from her husband, George, as they left the venue; but he’s been profoundly deaf for 10 years due to perforated ear drums, and neither our reporter nor camera crew knew sign language.