The Queen’s Granddad pictured in defiant mood despite a bollocking from Cardinal Wolsey for spending 1/6d on comely wenches in a Bethnal Green rub and tug establishment during the olden days


The government has urged the royal household to kerb excessive spending after it was revealed that The Queen, accompanied by Prince Philip, spent £13.75 last Saturday night in a Whitechapel pub.

The House Of Commons Accounts Committee issued a statement last night strongly criticising use of public funds by Her Majesty, on what they described as, “frivolous jaunts”

The report alleges that The Queen splashed out on 2 pints of light and bitter and a Sambuca “Depth Charge” cocktail in The Lord Rodney’s Head, and then went on to play 3 games of bar billiards with her husband at 50p a frame.

The Commons statement also made the claim that Prince Philip had a number of unsuccessful goes on the fruit machine costing a further £3,00.

A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace told reporters last night: “Yes it’s correct that Her Majesty and The Duke Of Edinburgh went out for a quiet drink in East London last Saturday and that a small sum was spent on drink and a couple of pub games, but what the people of this country should also know is that The Duke had earlier won twenty quid on the horses for an outlay of just a fiver on a 4/1 shot at Kempton Park, and that it was this money that was used to fund the night out and not monies from the public purse”

He then left without taking further questions as journalists pressed him on alleged claims that Philip had spent £2.00 on a packet of strawberry flavoured rubber johnnies in the gents and that they’d both had a large doner kebab with salad and chili sauce in the cab on the way home.