ca. 1997 --- Sikh Taxi Driver --- Image by © Catherine Karnow/CORBIS
“Shoreditch guvnor? That’ll be a long un plus a cockle for wear and tear on the tyres son”


A small but busy private hire company in Whitechapel has a number of vacancies for drivers with their own vehicles. This is a great opportunity for anyone that wants to earn anything up to £150 a week with no questions asked. Men who are on the run from the police or illegal immigrants for example.

The shifty, untrustworthy individuals we seek, should be aged between 16 and 95 with absolutely no knowledge of London’s road network whatsoever. A provisional driving licence would be handy but not essential.

Men with a criminal record; particularly those who have proved to be a danger to women in the past will be given priority.

If you have your own vehicle, or have recently stolen one belonging to somebody else and have removed the VIN plate and engine number, drop into our office at 567 Whitechapel Road  to collect your fake ID and genuine plastic lapel badge.

Cockney Flounders. Mini Cabs and Stolen Goods Emporium

London. E1