A 63-year-old widow from Whitechapel came under fire last night after it was revealed that she has been using her dead husband, Toby’s, body as a lawn sprinkler since his death last January when he was run over by a spiked steamroller in nearby Aldgate.

Mrs. Tracy Dell told The Whitechapel Whelk: “After Toby was run over by a spiked steamroller I was asked by the police to identify his body. I noticed straight away that he had a number of puncture marks all over him and immediately thought of how I could push the garden hose down his throat and use him as a sprinkler in our back garden. Toby was a keen gardener so it’s what he would have wanted really”

This latest storm comes just a month after a man from neighbouring Stepney was slammed for dismembering his wife’s corpse and using her buttocks to park his bicycle.