clive with gaz adams family

written and launched as a message in a bottle by Rear Admiral Sir Garfield Hoadley, 97. Fished out of the drink and properly edited by sub-editor, Clivey Dee, 19… if he’s a day!


GAZ – Fuck me Clivey, that was a loud bang old son!

CLIVEY – Yeah, it was probably that big old sort in the cabin above Gaz.

GAZ – Do you reckon she’s fallen out of bed again mate?

CLIVEY – No doubt about it son, made the whole ship shudder.”

GAZ -Hang on Clivey, why are all those people running about?

CLIVEY – I reckon they might have sussed we ain’t got a ticket Gaz

GAZ – What do we do Clivey?

CLIVEY – Lower that boat over the side Gaz, I’ve got a plan my son


GAZ – Blimey mate, New York is a lively place and no error! It reminds me a bit of Bermondsey on a Saturday afternoon. Does it remind you of Bermondsey Clivey me old China?

CLIVEY – I don’t know mate. I never go south of the river and neither should you son… Stroll on bruv! Look at the size of these burgers!.

GAZ – Fancy another pint mate?

CLIVEY – Go on then Gaz, after all, we are on holiday.

NEXT WEEK: Clivey and Gaz join the navy to see the world and spend the next 6 years in a  submarine.