the queen tits

Leader Of The Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that he will attempt to make amends for his refusal to sing the national anthem at The Battle of Britain commemoration ceremony last year by massaging The Queen’s tits when he attends a state banquet next week, which is being held as part of the celebrations to commemorate Her Majesty’s 90th birthday.

Left-winger Corbyn told reporters: “I took a fair bit of stick for not singing along to the anthem last year ago and I now realise it was pretty disrespectful of me. I have therefore decided to give Her Majesty’s tits a bit of a going over at this banquet to make up for it. Hopefully, this will get the press boys off my back for a while”.

If Corbyn fulfills his promise, it will be only the second time that a reigning monarch has received sexual favours in public since 1580, when Sir Walter Raleigh fingered Elizabeth The First to completion in Westminster Abbey after she gave him a knighthood for inventing potatoes.