Leader Of The Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that he will attempt to make amends for his refusal to sing the national anthem at The Battle of Britain commemoration ceremony last year by massaging The Queen’s tits when he attends a state banquet next week, which is being held as part of the celebrations to commemorate Her Majesty’s 90th birthday.
Left-winger Corbyn told reporters: “I took a fair bit of stick for not singing along to the anthem last year ago and I now realise it was pretty disrespectful of me. I have therefore decided to give Her Majesty’s tits a bit of a going over at this banquet to make up for it. Hopefully, this will get the press boys off my back for a while”.
If Corbyn fulfills his promise, it will be only the second time that a reigning monarch has received sexual favours in public since 1580, when Sir Walter Raleigh fingered Elizabeth The First to completion in Westminster Abbey after she gave him a knighthood for inventing potatoes.
April 23, 2016 at 7:45 am
This is for real? Wow!
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April 23, 2016 at 8:22 am
Of course it’s for real! The Duke of Edinburgh has been looking forward to it immensely 🙂
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April 23, 2016 at 11:22 am
it’s nice to be nice – ennit?
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April 23, 2016 at 11:43 am
Say what you like about old Jezza mate but you can’t deny that the boy’s one of life’s true givers.
He gives me the raving hump for example.
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April 23, 2016 at 11:44 am
visceral like, is it?
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April 23, 2016 at 1:59 pm
The U.S. needs a queen for such occasions – but all we will get is Hillary. Not as much fun. Gosh, I wonder what’ll get rubbed if Trump wins?
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April 23, 2016 at 3:39 pm
“President Trump” It has a real ring to it. A bit like a death knell 🙂
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April 23, 2016 at 2:05 pm
This post is Shakespearean and Majestic! 👑🐚👍
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April 23, 2016 at 3:42 pm
HER MAJESTY – Fie! Thou art too bold Sir Jeremy!
JEZZA – Would all great Neptune’s oceans n’ere wash this massage oil from my hands?!
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April 23, 2016 at 4:01 pm
Hahahahaha! A most concise and humorous critique of Royalty in the British Empire. 👍👍
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