Reverently written by Pope Garfield Hoadly III, 95. Piously pissed about with by Arsebishop Clivey Dee, 19.
The hall has seen many faces come and go over the past year with varying degrees of success. Thank the lord we managed to persuade “The Kim Jong-un Appreciation Society” to give up their vigil. The violence was a little over the top, but at least no one was arrested. This year, we see some new faces using the hall and I hope they will be made as welcome as all our previous guests. Please report abuse of the hall to me.
Rev H. Rancid
St. Marvin’s Church
6pm to 7pm: The Stepney Green Crematorium Tap Dancers Club. (No hobnail boots)
7pm to 8pm: Hoxton Herring Keeper’s AGM. (No pickling please)
8pm to 9pm: The Cripplegate Foreskin Biological Forum.
2pm to 4pm: The Whitechapel Anti-Racist Workshop. (No Blacks or Midgets)
4pm to 6pm: The Plaistow Leather Truss collectors Club. (Slides by Mr. Trimbole)
12pm to 2pm: The Whitechapel Pubic Wig Weavers General Meeting. (Topiary tuition night)
2pm to 6pm: Whitechapel Sadists Wednesday Club. (Please keep the noise down)
7pm to 10pm: The Bromley-By-Bow Gay & Lesbian Worm Diviners. (All welcome. No Trannies)
The hall will be closed to the Parishioners for the Whitechapel Vicars, Deacons and Vergers orgy please do not ask for admission this is an all ticket event. H.R.
9am to 12pm: West Ham Public Toilet Sitters Club. (No old pennies please)
3pm to 4pm: Bethnal Green blind unicycle crash and burn team with Reg Trollit R.I.P.
7pm to 9pm: Whitechapel Little Bleeders Haemophiliac club. (Please bring a pint)
7pm to 10pm Whitechapel and Aldgate East, Under-Fives Punch Up & Disco. (No firearms before 10pm)
Hall closed for disinfecting and cleaning.
Please make sure you book your place in the hall for next week. If you fail to turn up you will lose your deposit. I will make an exception for the Shoreditch Amnesiac Dance Troupe.
Please worship sensibly
Rev. Harold Rancid (Miss)