Not in our bloody paper you won’t be!


The Whitechapel Whelk can exclusively reveal that there will be absolutely nothing to report in the district until roughly tomorrow.

This is due to a complete lack of any incidents whatsoever during this 18 hour period and has nothing to do with the fact that we’re all going to The Blind Beggar for a good skinful of fizzy lager, or that we’ll be in utter shit state until shortly before midday tomorrow.

In the meantime, here’s some music: