jo whelk meme


Dear Whitechapel Whelk

While watching the Euro 16 football tournament, I was surprised to hear a member of the Swiss team complaining in a post-match interview that the team manager had pulled him off at half-time. Surely during major tournaments, when players and support staff are forced to spend long periods away from their wives and girlfriends, any form of sexual relief should be accepted with gratitude by these overpaid prima donnas. When I was a lad, all we used to get at half-time was a slice of orange.

Marvin Chubbychick

234 Whitechapel Road


Dear Whitechapel Whelk

People from the north of England. Go to bed at night wearing a shower cap filled with frozen peas, then, when you wake up the next morning, hey presto, a delicious snack of traditional mushy peas.

Gus Whippet

Shit Street Colliery