Evenin’ all.

Policing the mean streets of our great capital city can be a pretty grim business at times; especially when we’re called upon to deal with incidents involving domestic violence.

Last week, my partner and I received an urgent shout to attend a property in Whitechapel Road from where a woman’s screams and a male’s raised voice had earlier been heard and reported by neighbours.

Sure enough, when we arrived it was clear that a domestic incident had taken place. The young woman who answered the door had a black eye, and the bloke standing in the hall behind her had a number of scratches down both cheeks.

The woman explained that the man was her husband and that he’d turned a bit nasty when his dinner wasn’t on the table when he arrived home from the pub..

We quickly arrested the male and took him to the station where we knocked him about in the cells for half an hour, after first explaining the dangers of excessive drinking.

I was so knackered after clumping the bloke with a length of rubber hose that I nipped over to The Lord Rodney’s Head and tucked into the grog until I was unable to stand unaided and had been violently sick down my clothes.

Evenin’ all.

PC Ted Stupor appears courtesy of: The Metropolitan Liver Disease Tribune