modern-kitchen
Carnage. Mrs Dell’s kitchen pictured last night after the attack

 

 

A terrified 45-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London last night described how up to 20 rampaging Polish soccer louts totally refurbished her home during a 30-minute orgy of plumbing, plastering, and painting and decorating, following their teams 2-0 victory over Ukraine in the Euro 2016 tournament yesterday.

Tracy Dell told The Whelk: It was absolutely awful. At around 10pm, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. When I went to look, I saw a young man in a Polish football shirt fitting a new Ascot boiler while another one was washing down the paintwork on the ceiling with sugar soap.

I screamed and ran upstairs, only to find three more Poles plumbing in a new cold water cistern in the loft. I fled to the bathroom with the intention of locking myself in, but there was another one in there, fitting a new ball valve and siphon to the loo.”

Mrs. Dell then described how she had to endure a further 20 minutes of sustained DIY, before the louts ran off into the night, leaving her with over two thousand pounds worth of meticulously carried out home improvements.

“They even swept up all the dust and bits of plaster and took all the old fittings down the dump” she sobbed.

This latest incident comes just 3 days after more than a hundred Republic of Ireland hooligans swarmed onto a city farm in Shoreditch, gathering in the harvest and servicing a tractor before presenting the farmer’s wife with a new pair of wellies.

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