barrer boy
“Brave yerself princess, I’ll be ‘ome in twenty minutes”


A fruit and veg seller with a stall in Whitechapel market claims to have made his girlfriend pregnant using just the power of prayer and his barrow boy patter after being diagnosed with an extremely low sperm count.

Billy Stewart, 25, told The Whelk: “My girlfriend and I had been trying for a baby for over two years. I went to the doctor and he said I had a very low sperm count and that my chances of getting my girlfriend pregnant were pretty much zero.

“It was then that I hit upon the idea of using my market trader’s patter and the power of prayer to get the job done. Every night I used to stand at the foot of the bed and shout out, “Get your lovely Jersey toms here ladies. Pound a pound for you me darlin’ and I’m cutting me own throat love”

“I would then kneel down and ask God to bless our union before getting into bed beside her and getting me nut down. About a month later, she turned round and told me she’d got one in the oven. That’s the power of prayer and patter for you lads”

Billy’s girlfriend, Sharon Dell, 20, told us: “Billy used to shout the odds every night bless him, and it was alright at first, but then it started to get on my nerves; so I went round his best mate’s house a few times and shagged him while Bill was at work. They look quite similar, so hopefully, he’ll be none the wiser. You won’t publish this will you?”