In what some political pundits are calling a surprise move, Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that he has sacked the government as well as the opposition and all the remaining MPs in The House of Commons. He has, however, spared The Speaker and The Sergeant At Arms so that he “will have someone to talk to”
Corbyn, who began yesterday by sacking, Shadow Foreign Secretary, Hilary Benn, for alleged disloyalty to his leadership, told The Whelk. “I’m sorry if this upsets a few people, but I can no longer tolerate these blatant attempts to challenge my authority. Therefore, to avoid any further insurrection by closet capitalist sympathisers and lackeys to the boss classes, I have taken the decision to sack everybody.
“From now on, I wish to be known as Colonel Excellentisimo and to be given a big, bullet-proof car so that I can be driven through the streets which will be lined by wildly cheering supporters, ordered to be there on pain of death.
When asked if he will having an audience with The Queen to advise her of his new status, he told us: “That will not be necessary as I sacked her last night for persistent lateness and smoking in the toilets”