joe hart
Hart pictured looking visibly shaken outside his home last night


An England football team insider has told The Whitechapel Whelk that team boss, Roy Hodgson, was so incensed after his sides 2-1 defeat by lowly Iceland on Monday night he deliberately messed up blundering goalkeeper, Joe Hart’s, immaculately coiffured hair during the bus journey back to the team’s hotel.

The insider, who asked not to be named, said: “Roy was sitting up front with the driver, while big Joe was on the bench seat at the back, sitting on his own. The atmosphere was pretty strained and no one was talking much to be honest.

“Suddenly, Roy stood up and strode down the aisle towards Joe. He looked absolutely furious, his ears were bright red, and he was muttering: “I ‘m going to do that f*****g poof” under his breath.

“To everybody’s amazement, he starting scruffing up Joe’s hair with both hands before giving him a hard clump round the ear.

“He started effing and blinding, calling Joe: “a useless c**t” and saying that his nan could have saved the shot that gave Iceland their second goal. Then he accused Joe of costing him 1.3 million quid in wages and told him that he’d tell the next boss what a c**t Joe was and that he’d never be picked for England again”

“At this point, Joe started crying, but Wayne Rooney stepped in quickly and soothed the big fella by combing his hair and putting a bit of gel on it.”

Hart was refusing to comment last night, but Hodgson told us: “Don’t talk to me about that two-bob arseole. If I’d had a set of clippers on me I’d have shaved his f*****g head”

This is only the second recorded instance of a football manager attacking a player and comes almost 40 years after Scotland boss, Ally McLeod, slashed Scottish midfield legend, Archie Gemmill with a cut throat razor after a shameful 1-o defeat to lowly Iran in the 1978 World Cup in Argentina.