Embattled Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has followed up his offer to “reach out” to party rebels to restore party unity, by offering to fellate one-time colleague and now his biggest detractor, Hilary Benn, either at Corbyn’s home or a place of Benn’s choosing.
Speaking to reporters at his home, Corbyn, looking drawn and shaken, said: “I realise things are looking pretty grim for me right now and that is why I’ve offered to nosh off Hilary Benn. If it means stability and a better future for our great party then I’m prepared to swallow it.”
When asked if he will be extending a similar offer to party rebel, Angela Eagle, who is expected to challenge Corbyn for the leadership in the forthcoming days, he replied: “You must be joking. Have you seen the state of her? There are limits you know. Anyway, I’m pretty certain she’s a lezza.”
This is only the second time sexual favours have been offered in return for party loyalty. Ex-Prime Minister, Ted Heath, told the party faithful in 1979, that he was prepared to give, the then PM, Margaret Thatcher, a 15 minute back scuttling if she would make him Home Secretary.