NASA scientists were jubilant last night after cameras on the Jupiter space probe, Juno, beamed back pictures which clearly showed, night club entrepreneur, Peter Stringfellow, on the planet’s surface.
Project head, Professor Dan Terry, told The Whelk: “After careful examination of the pictures we are now convinced that Peter Stringfellow is living on the surface of Jupiter. It was definitely him because we could see his trademark blond hair and he was wearing a gold lame thong.
“We’re not sure how he’s surviving amidst all that intense radiation but we think it could be down to all the drugs he’s taken down the years which could have created an immunity in his system.
“We also believe that he survives the giant storms that have been ravaging the planet for hundreds of years by looking up at the sky and climbing inside a crater if it starts looking a bit overcast”
When asked if there would now be plans to launch a rescue mission to return Stringfellow to earth, Professor Terry, said: “You’re kidding me right? No, my friend, we like things just the way they are, and I’m pretty certain I speak for all of humanity on this one.”
This news comes just two weeks after astronomers at Greenwich Observatory claimed to have spotted 60s pop group, The Dave Clark Five, living amongst some large boulders on Saturn.