jack in fog
Jack pictured plying his grim trade in Whitechapel back in the olden days

 

The Whitechapel Whelk can exclusively reveal that Daytime TV Host and Sun newspaper columnist, Lorraine Kelly, has a sinister connection to the infamous mass murderer, Jack The Ripper, whose grisly crimes led to a reign of terror in late 19th century London.

A leading “Ripperologist” has told us that Kelly, 79, was in her home when a recent repeat of a Jack The Ripper movie, starring Michael Caine as Inspector Aberline, was being screened, and that there is a distinct possibility that the squeaky clean Scottish star could have watched it, or at least, had it on in the background while she was doing the ironing.

Last night, Kelly, renowned for her wholesome image, strongly denied the sickening allegations when she was confronted at her home by a Whelk reporter: “I saw that the film was on when I checked the tv guide and made a conscious effort to watch the other channel when it was on. I think I watched a David Attenborough programme about manatees in Florida or somewhere

“I never watch anything which contains either sex or violence to be honest. I should also like to make it clear that I consider everybody that has either had sex, or who has been, even a little bit violent, to be beneath contempt and deserving of a long jail term in Barlinnie Prison in Glasgow.”

However, Kelly became defensive when we asked if she’d recorded the programme on “My Shows” with a view to watching it later and slammed the door in our reporter’s face.

We have now passed on our findings to Scotland Yard who told us they are taking them very seriously and that they will be sending a lone bobby in a cape and carrying a Victorian lantern to keep an eye on her as soon as it gets a bit foggy.

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