Corbynspeakingcreditneeded
Corbyn pictured gratefully expelling hot air amid soaring temperatures yesterday

 

With the mercury today set to soar to a blistering 35 degrees celsius in London, drivers are being urged not to leave Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, locked in the car for long periods unattended.

The Royal Society For The Protection of Lefties issued a statement last night: “During this current heatwave, we urge motorists to use common sense and to avoid leaving Jeremy Corbyn locked in the car for any longer than a few minutes, not even with the back window wound down a bit. Due to their beards, cardigans, and donkey jackets, left-wing politicians are particularly vulnerable in extremely hot conditions.

“If you have no choice but to take Jeremy Corbyn with you on a car journey, ensure that he has a bottle of Evian spring water in his duffel bag and a coolbox to keep his Lenin-style cap in if he needs to take it off at some point.”

This warning invokes memories of the shocking incident in 1968, when a close to death, left-wing firebrand, Denis “The Beast of Bolsover” Skinner, had to be freed from a Vauxhall Viva by firemen during a prolonged July hot spell, after being left in the vehicle outside The Palace of Westminster for 3 days by prime minister, Harold Wilson.

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