jo whelk meme

Dear Whelk

Here’s some sage advice for any of your readers who are caring for an elderly parent or relative.

Before mealtimes, give them a set of novelty clockwork teeth. They can then use these to pre-chew their food before actually putting it into their mouths.

Anne Fuck

Stepney

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Dear Whelk

I’m not a bigoted man, but I’d strongly advise the president of The United States to change the name of his country retreat, Camp David, to something a bit more manly.

How on earth does he expect despotic world leaders to mend their ways when he invites them for talks at a place with such a gay name?

I suggest he calls it Butch Brad, Assertive Al or No-Nonsense Mr Knuckles or something along those lines.

Yours etc

Big Bill Pantypads

Wapping Dock

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Dear Whelk

They say that many hands makes light work, but I’m the Hindu god, Vishnu, and despite having eight arms, and therefore quite a few hands, have been unable to repair my bedside lamp no matter how hard I try.

Where’s the accuracy or fairness in that then?

Yours etc

Vishnu Hardcastle

Shoreditch

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