jo whelk meme

Dear Whelk

Here’s some sage advice for any of your readers who are caring for an elderly parent or relative.

Before mealtimes, give them a set of novelty clockwork teeth. They can then use these to pre-chew their food before actually putting it into their mouths.

Anne Fuck



Dear Whelk

I’m not a bigoted man, but I’d strongly advise the president of The United States to change the name of his country retreat, Camp David, to something a bit more manly.

How on earth does he expect despotic world leaders to mend their ways when he invites them for talks at a place with such a gay name?

I suggest he calls it Butch Brad, Assertive Al or No-Nonsense Mr Knuckles or something along those lines.

Yours etc

Big Bill Pantypads

Wapping Dock


Dear Whelk

They say that many hands makes light work, but I’m the Hindu god, Vishnu, and despite having eight arms, and therefore quite a few hands, have been unable to repair my bedside lamp no matter how hard I try.

Where’s the accuracy or fairness in that then?

Yours etc

Vishnu Hardcastle