R2-D2 and Dusty Bin - Metal Penis Version

Iconic game show legend, Dusty Bin, last night sensationally revealed that, during the 1980s, he shared wild sex romps with the late R2-D2, who passed away at the weekend.

“We were lovers for over 10 years”, an emotional Bin told us yesterday. “We would sometimes meet at Yorkshire Television studios when I was making 3-2-1 with Ted Rogers. We once had sex in Ted’s dressing room while he was on set. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world”

Bin, 47, then told us that the affair came to an abrupt end when he learned of D2’s promiscuous lifestyle.

“One of the girls in the makeup department told me that she once caught R2 in a threesome with a male and female Dalek when she was working on Dr Who for the BBC. There were some evenings when he would show up for dates reeking of oil that I knew wasn’t mine. I even found some discarded robot panties in the glove box of his car.

“The final straw was when I found out that he’d caught a sexually transmitted disease from Wall-E when he was on holiday in California. It was then that I broke it off. R2 was devastated and begged me to stay, but I told him to fuck off”

Mr Bin requested that his fee for this interview be donated to The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Wastepaper Baskets.

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