jo whelk meme


Dear Whitechapel Whelk

Last night, I dreamed that I had murdered the actor, Benedict Cumberbatch with a blunt instrument. Fortunately, when I woke up, I realised that I had and that his broken, lifeless body was lying beside my bed.

Marvin Straight



Dear Whitechapel Whelk

When tickling someone, I always find it enhances their enjoyment if you say: “tickle ickle ickle” while the process is ongoing.

Mary Clunge



Dear Whitechapel Whelk

My brother-in-law is staying at my house for a few weeks and last night, I discovered him lying curled up in the toilet bowl, painted brown. When I questioned my wife about this, she said “He must be upset about something which has made him curl up in the faecal position”

Where’s the fairness in that?

Toby Deepvein-Thrombosis

West Ham.