We at The Whitechapel Funeral Parlour are delighted to give you this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have your arse on display to all and sundry after your death.
The Undignitarse Peek-A-Boo Buttock Display Coffin of Hope is a lovingly crafted and absolutely uniquely designed coffin that will ensure that grieving friends and relatives will be afforded a first-class view of your arse before you are taken to your final resting place.
Each coffin is fitted with a viewing aperture, which can be pre-ordered by you, or requested by your family, so that even the biggest arse can be fully displayed. We even offer a full complimentary arse-shaving and tag nut removal service to ensure that your arse looks absolutely pristine and is free of unsightly ‘cling-ons’ when it is put on public display.
Retailing at just £3567.89, The Undignitarse is unbeatable value for the terminally ill and suicidal alike; or even for the forward-thinking individual who just want to make sure their loved ones and acquaintances can have a really good look at their arse before they are either laid to rest or put into an incinerator.
Here’s a testimonial from just one of our satisfied mourners:
‘My wife had an absolutely massive arse, so I wasn’t sure that The Undignitarse was for me. But, thanks to the skilled craftsmen at The Whitechapel Funeral Parlour who put a 3-foot square window in her coffin, the entire family was able to have a really good look at both of her gigantic cheeks before she was buried. Thanks, Whitechapel Funeral Parlour!’ – Toby Dell, Cripplegate, East London.
Order your Undignitarse today and get a free brochure detailing our wide range of revealing caskets; including the iconic “Cock Flasher” and the ever-popular “Minge Mate”
August 23, 2016 at 7:15 am
I’ll take one Minge Mate, please. Anything to put the mourners off the buffet, greedy bastards.
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August 23, 2016 at 7:30 am
It’ll be built to your own specifications and dispatched early next week PG. Will you be able to take delivery personally or are you teetering on a parapet as we speak? Serious question…ish.
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August 23, 2016 at 7:42 am
I’ll probably still be alive, depending on the quality of the bootleg gin I’ve ordered for a party this Saturday. If I don’t make it, I’ll leave a cheque with Terry the cat.
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August 23, 2016 at 8:11 am
Righto. I’ll send Mrs Bastard round with a shotgun to collect it and to make sure it’s signed!
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August 23, 2016 at 7:45 am
Reblogged this on The League of Mental Men! and commented:
I don’t normally reblog my own copy but in my case, I’m going to make an exception.
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August 23, 2016 at 10:15 am
Cheeky!
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August 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm
Are you here all week Grimbers? Christ, I bloody ‘ope not 😦
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August 23, 2016 at 12:20 pm
Just making the velodrome look nice for the heroes
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August 23, 2016 at 1:45 pm
On yer bike son!
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August 23, 2016 at 1:48 pm
bottoms up
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