man in pants
Mr SoZ pictured shortly before setting off for work yesterday

A 35-year-old local man has told The Whelk that, for the last 3 weeks, he has had to wear a single pair of underpants to work, after his wife put his entire wardrobe into a suitcase in readiness for their forthcoming holiday in The Canary Islands.

Danny SoZ, a pattern maker at Whitechapel Bell Foundry, told us: “She started packing all my gear away about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been reduced to wearing this pair of pants everywhere I go. It’s not ideal because the local kids laugh and point at me and women cross to the other side of the road when they see me coming towards them after dark. I’ve begged her to let me have a pair of trousers and a t-shirt but she just says they’re for my holidays”

We spoke to his wife, Gill, also 35, at their home in Whitechapel Road last night: “I told him that I was going to put a few essential bits in the cases so that I wouldn’t have to race around at the last minute. I bought some of those clothes special for the holiday. I’m not having him walking around with me in public looking like an old rag bag. There’s nothing wrong with those pants anyway, I only bought them for him last June before we went for a fortnight in Portugal.”

When we asked Mrs SoZ when they were leaving, she told us: “I’m not too sure at the moment, I’m hoping to get us one of those last minute deals to Tenerife around Christmas time”

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