They’ve all buggered off on their holibobs leaving me to hold the fort. The thing is, they’ve left me with two dozen tins of cat chow but no tin-opener.

So, if you’re passing the office at some point, could you post a few sardines through the letterbox? I don’t want them tinned ones in tomato sauce or sunflower oil mind! I want fresh from Big Tony’s Quality Seafood Stall in Whitechapel Road.

In any case, I struggle to peel back the lids on the tinned jobbies…especially after a few pints of Skol Super.

I’ll leave it with you then…and don’t forget…pussy lives matter!

All The Best

Ted Bastard (Mrs)