My darlingest and most delightful Whelk readership

Somebody inquired of me the other day as to why our ‘like and comment count’ was relatively modest in comparison to any number of other blogs, who seem to accumulate hundreds of responses seconds after clicking the publish button.

My answer to them was along these lines. We don’t generally indulge in the widespread mutual backslapping practice that we are all aware is solely behind the ‘popularity’ of any one blog. Having said that, we are not casting aspersions in any way shape or form on those who do, as that is their prerogative and their right.

The thing is dear readers, and I’m going to let you in on a little secret here, our material is published in a number of other outlets, many with extremely large readerships, so our lust for publicity is well sated, thanks to the utterly unfathomable belief in our vile copy shown by these crazy fools.

Only this morning, our cub reporter, young Danny SoZ, who is only 19 bless him, had a piece, based on the demise of the disgraced England Soccer boss Sam Allardyce, published by the online satirical giant, News Thump, which, in the last hour has attracted over 200 Facebook shares and over 500 ‘likes’ for reasons which are beyond me.

Dafty News, which has a readership of over 300,000, are also kind/misguided enough to publish our copy on an almost daily basis, along with a good few more satirical/humour publications who see fit to sully their pages with our risible output.

So you see my dear friends, things are not as bleak as our stats on here might suggest. In fact, and to use a somewhat bizarre analogy, we are just like an upside down duck on a lake. Above the water line, our little feet are frantically flailing back and forth in a seemingly desperate attempt to garner favour and to attract visible approval. But beneath it, our sleek well-oiled body is gliding effortlessly through the cool still water 🙂

That is not to say that we don’t wholly appreciate and welcome those good folks who are kind enough to give us the odd, appreciative ‘like’ or who liven up our insipid comments box with a cheery verbal wave. We enjoy and appreciate the contributions from every single one of you and thank you most kindly for your largesse and your time. 🙂

Kind Regards

Team Whelk (and Mrs Bastard the office cat)

PS. And if you believe that Danny SoZ is 19, I feel very sorry for you indeed.