Following last night’s sensational revelation that the FBI are to conduct further investigations into the controversy surrounding the private emails of presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, the democratic candidate and ex-Secretary of State has angrily denied that she had kept over one hundred communications from Toby Dell’s Plumbing Emporium in Whitechapel, East London, in her spam folder for well over 6 months, despiting deleting countless others from penis developer manufacturers, Russian brides offers and Nigerian scam artists.
Speaking to reporters last night, a visibly angry Mrs Clinton said: “I had no idea these emails were in my spam folder. I have no knowledge of Mr Dell or of his business in Whitechapel and I can only assume that my husband may have been in touch with this gentleman over a leaky faucet we had in the bathroom.
“As to the penis developing ones, I have no idea how they got there and have forwarded them all to Donald Trump, who, from what I’ve heard, could sure use one.”
Mr Dell spoke to us from outside his premises in Commercial Road last night “It’s quite possible that I may have sent a few emails to Mrs Clinton. I tend to advertise quite widely, especially with a view to getting a few prestige jobs. I’m putting a new cold water cistern in Vladimir Putin’s loft next Thursday”
We dedicate this skit to our excellent colonial buddy ‘Buffalo’ Tom Peabody, whose chance remark led to the birth of this libellous tripe.