There were scenes of wild jubilation across America last night as Donald J Trump became the first ever United States President to have a surname that is a synonym for a rectal expulsion of foul-smelling gas.
However, the reaction from the so-called free world was mixed, with many leaders expressing disquiet at having to deal with Trump during high-level meetings with the new White House incumbent.
German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, was the first to express reservations, telling reporters: “While I congratulate Mr Trump on his victory, it’s not going to be easy entering into summit talks with a man who sounds like a fart. I just hope I can keep a straight face when we shake hands before high-level discussions.”
British Prime Minister, Theresa May, was slightly less guarded in her reaction to the news of Trump’s victory “I find it hard to believe that the American people have elected a man named after a botty burp” she told a news conference. “How the hell are we going to take the man seriously. It was hard enough not to burst out laughing the other day when Gabon elected President Ali Bongo”
The American people now face the grim prospect of enduring four years of being subjected to flatulence-related jibes whenever they mention their president to foreigners, although many political analysts are casting doubt on the chances of the world lasting that long after Trump gains access to the nuclear codes.