pretty-girl-meme
Beyond the pale. A woman stepping out of line pictured earlier.

A Whitechapel man was in hospital being treated for gunshot wounds to the upper thigh last night, after shooting himself as a diversion when his girlfriend suggested that they have an in-depth discussion about their relationship.

Danny Dell, a 25-year-old mechanic, spoke to The Whitechapel Whelk from his bed in The Royal London Hospital: “We’d just finished dinner and I was clearing the table, when, without warning, my girlfriend told me to sit down as she wanted to talk about our relationship and where it was going.

“I knew at once that I had to do something to get out of it, so I got my gun from the drawer in the sideboard and shot myself in the leg.

“It certainly did the trick, because she hasn’t mentioned it since; although she did start crying a bit in the ambulance and told me she couldn’t live without me, which was a bit worrying; but since then, nothing, thank God.

“Hopefully, that will be an end to it as I don’t really want to keep shooting myself every five minutes. It’s not fair on The National Health Service for one thing. If she says anything along those lines again I’ll just kick her to the kerb. She’s a rubbish cook anyway”

Mr Dell’s girlfriend, Marie, 19, told us: “I couldn’t believe it when he just shot himself like that. I can only assume that he thought I was going to end it. He must love me so much.

“As soon as he’s better I’ll sit him down and we can have a lovely, long talk about our hopes and dreams for our future together”

A spokesman for The Metropolitan Police said last night: “We realise that Mr Dell was breaking the law by possessing an unlicensed firearm, but given the gravity of the situation he found himself in, we have decided to let him off with a caution.

“We have also decided to let him keep the weapon in case she tries anything like this again”

This latest incident comes just 2 days after another man, from nearby Bethnal Green, stuck his finger in the plug socket after his girlfriend sat down next to him with the Argos catalogue and turned to the engagement ring page.

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