Dr Singh pictured comforting a stricken patient yesterday

from our limb disorder correspondent, Danny SoZ

A GP at Whitechapel Health Centre has told The Whelk that he has seen a recent massive surge in people visiting his surgery with one leg shorter than the other.

Dr Vijay Singh, told us: “It’s extraordinary how many uneven-legged patients I’ve had in my consulting room these last few weeks.

“Most of them have only a minor discrepancy in relative leg measurement, with just an inch or two difference, but I have seen one or two extreme cases lately; including a woman whose left leg was almost two feet shorter than her right, and an elderly man who, to all intents and purposes, had no right leg at all.

“I’ve referred some of the more extreme cases to The Royal London Hospital for surgery, while I’ve advised the people at the lower end of the scale to walk with one foot in the gutter to even it out”

In other health-related news, a 45-year-old local woman, who is believed to have alcohol-related problems, was rushed to hospital suffering from exhaustion and severe chaffing at the weekend after spending 4 hours trying to take her knickers off over her head.