As 2016 draws to a close and 2017 looms with a pretty scary – and let’s be honest here – a criminally insane, sociopathic, new world order on the horizon, where no country is safe from being nuked or walled in, and no vagina free of the fear of being grabbed; I should like to offer up this prayer for all of mankind using a cockney colloquialism:

Gawd ‘elp us, every one!

And now, here’s our sub/dom editor, Sir Garfield Hoadley with his annual, tuneful Christmas musical address.

WARNING: Contains traces of naughty words and some flecks of vomit.

Merry Christmas from all at The Whitechapel Whelk!