A 40-year-old man from Whitechapel has turned into a turkey and now lives in a small enclosure in the back garden of his home in Commercial Road The Whitechapel Whelk can reveal.
Toby Dell, formerly a dustman for Tower Hamlets Council, is believed to have taken on the physical appearance and characteristics of the bird after being fed endless, turkey-based meals during the festive period.
Mr William’s wife, Marie, told reporters that she’d noticed a number of marked changes in her husband since he was given turkey dripping on toast for breakfast for the third day running on the 29th of December.
“It was around lunchtime and I had made him some turkey sandwiches to tide him over until his turkey dinner was ready” she said.
“He’d had 4 slices of toast with turkey dripping for breakfast and seemed to enjoy it, so I thought I’d make him a nice turkey curry for a change.
“When he came into the kitchen and spotted the sandwiches and saw the turkey carcass on the worktop he started making a funny noise. It seemed to be coming from the back of his throat and sounded for all the world like the gobbling sound a turkey makes.
“I also noticed that his face and arms were covered in goosebumps. I thought he was feeling the cold and told him to turn the heating up.
“Over the next few hours, he started sprouting feathers from all over his body and even developed those nasty red dangly bits that turkeys have underneath their chins. I realised fairly quickly that he was turning into a turkey.
“He has now gone right off his food and only eats handfuls of grain that I sprinkle on the kitchen floor for him. He then runs out into the garden and does his business on the lawn.
“He spends hours out there, scratching around in the dirt with his head bobbing backwards and forwards. The kids think it’s hilarious.
“In the end, I got one of the neighbours to build a little run for him from some old wood and chicken wire and he spends all day and night out there now. He seems happy enough to be fair, although I do think he misses the football on telly”
When asked what she planned to do about her husband’s plight she said that she was going to fatten him up for a few months and slaughter him the day before Easter Sunday.
This is not the first case of a human being ‘morphing’ into a member of the animal kingdom. Following a number of meals in French restaurants in the 1960s, UKIP leader, Nigel Farage began his slow, and as yet unfinished, transformation into a frog.