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ten-commandments
Whelk sub-editor, Sir Harlton-Cheston pictured with The Commandments last night

 

from our religious affairs correspondent, The Right Bloody Reverend Danny SoZ

 

The world of archaeology was in a state of high excitement last night after news emerged that an East London man has found The 10 Commandments under a pile of magazines at his local doctor’s surgery.

The tablet – which dates back to before Jesus was born and was given to Moses by God – was said to be in excellent condition apart from a coffee stain at the bottom and a few black marks where people had dogged out cigarettes on it in the olden days.

Toby Dell, 56, from Whitechapel, told astonished reporters how he made his discovery while waiting to see his doctor about a gout-related issue.

“I’d been waiting for over half an hour to be seen so I thought I’d have a look at a couple of the magazines on the table in the corner.

“The one on the top was a 1989 issue of Hello, containing a report on Charles and Di’s wedding. It was a bit battered and dog-eared so I went further down the pile and found The Ten Commandments right at the bottom under a copy of The Illustrated London News from 1888 reporting on the latest Jack The Ripper murder. It came as quite a surprise I don’t mind telling you.”

This latest discovery of an ancient archaeological jewel comes just a month after a man from Islington found a battered copy of The North London Echo, carrying a match report on the last time Arsenal won the league title.

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