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from our religious affairs correspondent, The Right Bloody Reverend Danny SoZ
The world of archaeology was in a state of high excitement last night after news emerged that an East London man has found The 10 Commandments under a pile of magazines at his local doctor’s surgery.
The tablet – which dates back to before Jesus was born and was given to Moses by God – was said to be in excellent condition apart from a coffee stain at the bottom and a few black marks where people had dogged out cigarettes on it in the olden days.
Toby Dell, 56, from Whitechapel, told astonished reporters how he made his discovery while waiting to see his doctor about a gout-related issue.
“I’d been waiting for over half an hour to be seen so I thought I’d have a look at a couple of the magazines on the table in the corner.
“The one on the top was a 1989 issue of Hello, containing a report on Charles and Di’s wedding. It was a bit battered and dog-eared so I went further down the pile and found The Ten Commandments right at the bottom under a copy of The Illustrated London News from 1888 reporting on the latest Jack The Ripper murder. It came as quite a surprise I don’t mind telling you.”
This latest discovery of an ancient archaeological jewel comes just a month after a man from Islington found a battered copy of The North London Echo, carrying a match report on the last time Arsenal won the league title.
January 3, 2017 at 9:05 am
Writing on tablet looks more like Greek than Hebrew ? Did Moses get this from Zeus or Yahweh. ?
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January 3, 2017 at 12:22 pm
Having seen the movie, I believe he got them from Samuel Goldwyn and Louis B Mayer.
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January 28, 2017 at 2:18 pm
paleohebrew actually https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paleo-Hebrew_alphabet
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January 28, 2017 at 4:28 pm
I only have your word for that. That could be one of those “alternative facts”that Mr Trumps friends are so fond of.
I’m sticking with Ancient Scottish š
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January 28, 2017 at 4:43 pm
š look at the attached article. Ancient Scottish is an attractive option too.
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January 28, 2017 at 4:53 pm
I don’t trust attachments. Mr Trump and his friends infer that they have their origins in Mexico and are not to be relied on.
You’re right about Ancient Scottish though. It is an attractive option. Particularly if you’re ancient and Scottish. I stand by my initial analysis of the inscription I’m afraid. š
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January 28, 2017 at 5:48 pm
Just curious, where are you getting Trump from? As far as attachment, look into paleo-hebrew. It is a real linguistic study.
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January 28, 2017 at 5:50 pm
and yes, definitely a fraud. Unfortunately most archaeology is ARKaeology and not good science š and I get your satire in this article. I was just pointing to the picture on the top having the epigraphy of paleohebrew.
š
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January 28, 2017 at 6:52 pm
In which case, I must thank you for enlightening me. As someone who writes satire, often for pecuniary gain, I have to exercise due diligence when somebody engages with me in a seemingly altruistic manner. Too many of my detractors have tried to metaphorically ‘pull my trousers down’ you see.
None have ever succeeded I’m happy to say š
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January 28, 2017 at 7:12 pm
Trust me, my main desire right now is for your trousers to remain up!
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January 28, 2017 at 7:15 pm
Then you are not alone. I seem to spend the best part of my life among people of the very same (and undoubtedly sensible) mind as your good self.
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January 3, 2017 at 11:39 am
He looks nothing like Charlton Heston that Moses bloke. One of your best my old China. Lovely job.
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January 3, 2017 at 12:23 pm
Cheers bruv! I still think you should go back to your own country though. You humanist bleeder mate.
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January 3, 2017 at 5:34 pm
Makes you wonder what might be in the basket next to the table.
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January 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm
Yes it does. Talking of which, they never did find those missing pages from The Dead Sea Scrolls did they? š
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January 3, 2017 at 6:16 pm
Have you found a good home for the 10 commandments?
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January 3, 2017 at 6:48 pm
Yep, We threw them in the wastepaper basket. In another 2000 years they may be discovered again. Who knows š
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January 6, 2017 at 4:53 am
The Doctor, of all people, should know better than to leave tablets lying around.
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January 13, 2017 at 8:23 am
Old Hebrew. It’s kinda like Olde English.
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January 13, 2017 at 11:25 am
Yep, I first encountered it in the movie, The Passion Of The Christ. It was a bit like Scottish but the people speaking it weren’t quite as drunk š
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January 13, 2017 at 4:00 pm
Ah-ha-ha-ha! I know they called in experts and studied it and it’s kinda Aramaic/Syriac, but that sounded like nothing remotely resembling Hebrew as the Jews would’ve spoken. The American-type overlay really killed the credibility. Also, Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitism is the end-all.
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January 13, 2017 at 5:45 pm
I once watched the entire movie with Portuguese sub-titles while on holiday in that country and had to translate the dialogue for my wife who doesn’t speak a word of Portuguese. It was one of the most tedious episodes of my entire life š
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January 13, 2017 at 8:25 pm
Especially, that movie. It’s not like it was a Charlie Chaplin movie, or something…
I saw “Extraterrestre: Encuentras en la Tercera Fase” in Spain.
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January 14, 2017 at 3:37 am
I wonder why they don’t have “Close Encounters” like the rest of us
Typical Spanish! Cold hearted lot š¦
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