oliver-twist-gruel
A young gruel enthusiast goes back for seconds in the olden days

 

 

TheWhitechapel Whelk has learned that Britain’s supermarkets are reportedly stockpiling supplies of gruel in anticipation of a spike in demand for the thin, watery, flour-based product in March, following the triggering of Article 50 which will put Britain on the path to severing ties with The European Union.

Many experts predict the aftermath will set the country on the path to economic ruin and cause hardship for millions of families, triggering a switch to less expensive food options.

Gruel, once a popular staple with the impoverished working classes, has almost disappeared from supermarkets, with people preferring the more satisfying and nourishing porridge oats option.

However, with Britain predicted to career rapidly downhill to fiscal ruin, astute supermarket bosses are stockpiling vast quantities of acorn, rye and chestnut gruel in anticipation of huge demand from families unable to afford little else.

One enterprising supermarket will even be introducing their own brand of the product. Lidle will launch, Article 50 Economy Gruel, in March to coincide with the anticipated triggering of the clause in parliament at the end of that month

In other Brexit-related developments, some local councils are planning to convert public facilities such as libraries and swimming pools into corporation workhouses which will be run by local businessmen and overseen by a council-appointed official, or ‘Beadle.’