stylishly written by Sir Garfield Hoadley. Tastefully colour co-ordinated and edited by Danny SoZ
The scene is a small, poorly lit room in central London. The two old friends are looking somewhat askance at the seedy aspect of their surroundings
“I hate these so-called bijou residences, don’t you Gaz?”
“Oh yeah, definitely bruv. I mean to say, they are so uninspiring Clivey”
“You would think, they’d tart the place up a bit Gaz”
“You’re not wrong mate, a coffee table with a few copies of Country Life would be nice”
“And a nice Persian rug, to enhance the decor Gaz. It’d look blinding over there in the corner”
“Very fair Clivey, very fair my son. You ain’t askin’ for much pal”
“I’ve always been very undemanding Gaz”
“Some soundproofed, double glazed patio doors opening into the yard, would not go amiss either would they mate?”
“That’s not unreasonable Gaz,”
“It would be nice too if they put a Lalique crystal shade on that light fitting?”
“They don’t think like you and me Gaz”
“Too busy worrying about costs Clivey”
“You’ve hit the nail right on the head there son”
“Shall I ask what time dinner is served?”
“Go on Gaz, won’t do any harm, will it”
“Do you think we will get bail, Clivey”
“At West End Central Police Station mate? No chance bruv”…
Clivey & Gaz are now appearing in “I Was A Teenaged Fascist Bastard” at The York Hall, Bethnal Green
January 4, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Hahahahaha! Reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket on Keeping Up Appearances bemoaning “The Bijou” lifestyle! Brilliant! 🐚👍👍
Danny is definitely in Pulitzer Prize territory here!
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January 4, 2017 at 4:50 pm
Holy guacamole! You have Hyacinth Bucket on your side of the puddle. Well, I’ll be…:)
Glad you enjoyed it Tom. 🙂
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January 4, 2017 at 3:10 pm
I laughed so much a bit of wee came out.
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January 4, 2017 at 4:46 pm
It’s your age dear. I SAY AGE DEAR!
Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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January 4, 2017 at 4:58 pm
😉
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January 4, 2017 at 3:19 pm
Nice bit of editing me old China. I shall, however, be excluding you from the Dorking village Badger sniffing weekend. Please return your scratching stick, to Sid Blindfold.
Yours
Sir Garfield Hoadley
Hang on a Mo Castle
Pong Lane
Shinglang
China
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January 4, 2017 at 4:48 pm
I tried to give it a slightly right-wing flavour through the edit mate. Now go back to your own country you sootie bleeder!
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January 4, 2017 at 5:58 pm
Don’t get lemon, because you are missing out on the Badger sniffing. I suppose you will be coming to the “Insult a Lesbian” night at the Village hall?
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