Some London police officers pictured taking a wrongdoer to the cells for a good clipping in the olden days


from our crime and cauliflower ear correspondent, Danny SoZ

The Whitechapel Whelk has learned, that the body that represents Britain’s police officers, The Police Federation, has called for a lifting of the ban that prevents its members from giving errant youngsters a hard cuff around the side of the head, often referred to as a clip round the ear.

Before restrictions on the practice were introduced in the early 1990s, it was commonplace for officers, who had spotted a youngster up to mischief of some description, to stealthily approach the miscreant from behind before administering a hard blow to the side of the offender’s head with the flat of a gloved hand.

This action would invariably cause prolonged ringing in the recipient’s ears and was often accompanied by a verbal admonishment, such as ‘now clear off you little bugger or I’ll tell your mother’

The Federation argue that the reintroduction of the practice could help prevent Britain’s youngsters from committing more serious offences further down the line.

So far there has been mixed support for the move among MPs at Westminster, with one Labour backbencher calling the proposal, “barbaric and abusive”, while a Conservative member welcomed the move, calling it “a bit wishy-washy but a definite step in the right direction”

There is, however, widespread public enthusiasm for the move, with over 90% of those surveyed giving their wholehearted support, and with over 60% saying they would also be in favour of officers being allowed to take offenders to the local police station where they would be rolled up in a mattress and beaten with truncheons.