When The Whitechapel Whelk asked me to be a regular columnist I didn’t hesitate. There was no hesitation on my part. None. The offer was too tremendous to turn down. I can’t tell you how tremendous it was. It was so tremendous I called Mr Putin and gave him a full low-down on how tremendous it was. However, he already knew about it, so that was tremendous. Mr Putin is a smart guy and I know I can do business with a guy as smart as him. He’s just so tremendously smart.

In the coming weeks, I shall be writing about my struggle to make white America even whiter and how the Mexicans, the blacks, the fags, and the media losers are trying to hold me back.

When I told Mr Putin that I was being held back, he told me that he already knew. How tremendously smart is he? Not like CNN and the BBC with their fake news and constant requests to see my tax returns. It was probably those losers who paid those Russian hookers to piss on me when I wasn’t looking.

Next week, I’ll tell you all about the time when Hillary paid some old black senator guy to disrespect me in public. What an asshole he is by the way. I told Mr Putin what an asshole this dude was and he told me that he already knew. How smart is that? Tremendous!

God bless The United States of Russia  America.