Another fine mess. Two new Brit recruits contemplate leaving the European single market


from our bremoaning snowflake editor, Danny SoZ

The military personnel of the fabled French Foreign Legion is now 99 per cent British according to a Legion insider.

The ex-Legionnaire claims that since the EU referendum last June, there has been a huge rise in disenchanted British men joining the legendary regiment, desperate to escape the privations that leaving the European Union could potentially bring.

The 32-year-old, ex-Russian special forces soldier told The Whitechapel Whelk: “Before the Brexit vote, The Legion was a fairly eclectic mix of guys from right across the world. Mostly ex-forces lads or guys on the run from the authorities or men who had joined to forget a broken relationship.

“After June 23rd that all changed and the Paris recruiting office was overwhelmed with Brits, clamouring to join up.

Some of them told me that they preferred the arduous training and the prospect of facing death in hazardous war zones to having to deal with a falling pound, rising prices, and the constant jibes from smug Brexiteers on social media and in the workplace.

“Over the past few months, a lot of the old, foreign guys have quit and gone back to civvie street after getting fed up with listening to the British recruits constantly moaning about falling exchange rates, the retail price index, and Nigel Farage’s gloating, self-satisfied demeanour on Newsnight”

Elements of The Legion are currently deployed in Syria where reports were coming in last night of a number of British, ‘Bremoaner’ casualties who had reportedly volunteered to clear a minefield without safety gear after hearing Theresa May outlining Britain’s plans to implement a ‘hard Brexit’ yesterday afternoon.