clive with gaz adams family
The scene is the public bar of The Blind Beggar public house in Whitechapel, East London. Clivey is at a corner table, sipping his pint. He appears to be in pensive mood when his old friend, Gaz, enters and greets him warmly

“Wotcha, Clivey”
“Alright, Gaz, me old mate?”
“Sweet as a nut pal. I was just on me way to get me ears syringed as it goes. What’s happening bruv?”
“Ears syringed bruv? Are you going mutt and jeff in your old age?”
“Pardon?
“Never mind bruv. In answer to your question, I’m thinking of buying a Saxophone, Gaz”
“Oh yeah? What’s all that about then?”
“It’s like this Gaz. I was in the garden shed the other day, when…”
“Did the old woman lock you out again son?”
“Yeah, she did as it ‘appens. I forgot the gravy powder”
“That’s a pretty harsh reaction mate. After all, you’re only human”
“That’s what I said, mate. It was then that she threw the skillet at me”
“You must have had a lot on your mind to forget the gravy like that. I mean, it’s not like you’d been drinking is it?”
“Absolutely bruv! I’d only had the 6 pints!”
“That woman’s a tyrant son. She don’t deserve you bruv. Anyway, about this bag of phones you’re going to buy”
“What?”
“The bag of phones you mentioned. Are you going to sell them?”
“I said, I wanted to buy, a Saxophone, Gaz”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just wondering, what you’re going to do with ’em. Try Whitechapel market. They’re always knocking out moody phones down there bruv.”
“I worry about you sometimes son”
“That’s nice of you mate. Fancy another pint?
“Yeah, sod it. You only live once sheriff. I’ll have a pint of Best.”
“Off for a rest? Fair enough bruv, I’ll have yours then. I’ll catch you later then squire”

Clivey & Gaz will shortly be appearing at Donald Trump’s impeachment ceremony at Shoreditch Working Men’s Club.

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