Some stroppy women failing to know their place and marching in the olden days



A shy, 23-year-old council worker from Whitechapel who attended the Women’s March On London protest rally against Donald Trump in London on Saturday in the hope of finding a girlfriend, went home alone and disappointed after failing to get a single phone number or even a friendly response to his attempts to set up a date with one of the 100,000 females that were estimated to be in attendance.

Toby Dell, a part-time gardener for Whitechapel council, eventually left the rally at around 8.00pm and had a McDonalds at Victoria station before getting the tube back to his two-bedroom home in Commercial Road which he shares with his 70-year-old widowed mother, Mary, and pet rabbit, Walter.

We spoke to Mr Dell last night. Playing nervously with the toggles on his duffle coat, he told us: “I tried really hard to find a girl that I thought might be interested in starting a loving relationship. I must have spoken to well over a hundred throughout the day I guess.

“I would stand next to one that I thought looked nice and would compliment her on the slogan on her banner and say some mean stuff about Mr Trump to break the ice.

“One or two kind of acknowledged me with a quick glance, but as soon as I tried to broaden the conversation by mentioning my Star Wars model collection or the fact that my mum lets me stay out until 10.00pm at weekends, they would just walk off or start talking to one of their friends.

“One girl did smile at me while asking me for twenty pounds as a donation towards victims of domestic violence, but as soon as I gave it to her she disappeared into a nearby pub.

“It was quite disappointing really, as what with fares and everything, I ended up using all the money I’d saved up for a holiday in Taunton with mum in March.”

The rally itself, which brought parts of the capital to a standstill, was hailed a huge success by organisers, although a spokesman for The White House claimed there were less than a hundred in attendance and called it a “lame attempt to discredit the American government organised by the liberal media, some loser communists, and a bunch of no-account British dykes”