The 7th Cavalry pictured at high-level talks with the Sioux in the olden days


Following fresh protests by native Americans from the Standing Rock Sioux tribe over President Donald Trump’s newly-announced plans to recommence work on the controversial, Dakota Access oil pipeline, the new president has announced that he will be sending the legendary, 7th Cavalry, to the area to deal with what he is calling “pesky injun trouble”

Speaking at a press briefing yesterday, Trump outlined plans to build a small fort in the heart of Sioux territory, from where detachments of horse soldiers armed with Winchester repeating rifles will ride out at high noon each day to deal with any insurgency from native Americans in the area who may try to disrupt construction.

“We are going to take care of business and take care of it fast,” he told reporters “You will not be able to believe how fast business gets taken care of. It will be truly beautiful. In fact, it will be so beautiful you won’t be able to believe it, but it will be beautiful I can tell you that much folks.”

Before dismissing journalists without taking questions, Trump struck a more conciliatory note by revealing that one or two covered wagons driven by grizzled mountain men would initially go into, what he referred to as, “injun country,” trading whisky and tobacco in exchange for buffalo hides, gold, and, if possible, a signed deal to allow the oil company to run the pipeline through sacred Sioux territory