nicola
Pussy problem. A grim-faced Sturgeon pictured last night

 

Scottish National Party leader, Nicola Sturgeon, has told The Whitechapel Whelk that opposition leader, Jeremy Corbyn, made an uncalled for, derogatory remark about her cat during a heated debate on Brexit in The Strangers Bar at The Palace of Westminster on Monday evening.

A visibly upset Surgeon told us: “A few of us were having a quiet drink after a long debating session in The Commons and I mentioned to Jeremy that I was against him imposing a 3-line whip on the forthcoming vote to trigger Article 50.

“He seemed to get absolutely furious at this. He slammed his glass of sherry down on the bar and started having a right go at my cat.

“He told me that he’d seen it in Hello magazine in an article they did on me a few months back – and to use his words- he told me that it looked like a piece of shit on a stick.

“I became terribly upset and started crying, but he was relentless. He told me that my cat was a worthless piece of Scottish crap that needed a good kick up the arse.

“I reported him to The Speaker the next day who was really lovely and told me not to worry about it. He told me that Jeremy always turns nasty after he’s had a few ales.

“He then told me that he’d seen my cat in the magazine too and that it looked great for its age, which really lifted my spirits”

This latest furore comes almost a year after, left-wing Labour Party firebrand, Denis “The Beast Of Bolsover” Skinner, was asked to withdraw from The Commons debating chamber by The Speaker for calling Prime Minister David Cameron’s Irish Setter a “thick paddy c***t”

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