jo whelk meme

Dear Whitechapel Whelk

Cash-strapped London motorists. Get a refund on the London Congestion Charge by driving into work and then going home backwards.

Ronald Dump



Dear Whitechapel Whelk

I recently asked a neighbour to water my hanging baskets while I was on holiday

To my annoyance, when I returned I found one or two of the plants looking a bit withered.

However, I got my own back a few days later by breaking into his house and murdering him, along with his wife and kids, while they slept.

Ted Grundy



Dear Whitechapel Whelk

Cash-strapped pensioners. Take in a Tibetan lodger, and then on cold winter evenings mention the Chinese occupation of his homeland.

The ensuing heat when he sets fire to himself in protest will keep you snug and warm all night without incurring the expense of switching the electric fire on.

Dave Lama

Stepney Green


Dear Whitechapel Whelk

Make funerals more fun by only attending the ones held for people you couldn’t stand

Mary Dell