Under fire Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, last night hit out at his fierce critic and former Labour prime minister, Tony Blair, claiming that the three times elected darling of the centre-left had once kicked, child TV sensation, Honey Boo Boo, up the backside before running off with her 3-wheeler bicycle.
Speaking to The Whitechapel Whelk just hours after Labour’s latest disastrous by-election loss at Copeland on Thursday, a clearly furious, Corbyn said: “It’s all very well people blaming my leadership for the laughable performance of the party since I took over, but what people should focus on is the fact that Tony Blair kicked Honey Boo Boo up the arse and stole her bike.”
Corbyn backs up his claim by revealing that a close aide and member of the extreme left-wing splinter group, Momentum, told him about it during a fringe meeting of The Anti-Zionist League last week.
“Apparently, Blair just ran up to her outside her house in the deep south and booted her hard up the arse. He then grabbed her bike and ran off.
“Honey Boo Boo’s parents, Mama June and Sugar Bear, gave chase but he jumped into a waiting car driven by Alistair Cambell and drove off.
“Hopefully, the press will remember this the next time Blair questions my fitness to lead this party.”
If this allegation proves to be true, it will be the biggest political scandal to hit the party since Labour prime minister, Harold Wilson, was accused by Conservative leader, Ted Heath, of giving the 9-year-old, Milky Bar Kid actor, Conrad Colby, a violent wedgie that resulted in the youngster being rushed to hospital for urgent treatment to his arse and balls.