Farage & Hopkins gates of Mordor

There was growing concern last night, that, former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, and controversial right-wing media personality, Katie Hopkins, are expecting the birth of a child.

The extreme right-wing pair are currently colleagues at LBC radio station where they both host phone-in shows, popular with people with fascist leanings and low IQs.

An LBC insider has revealed that the pair often spend off-air time together and that they were once seen slipping into a janitor’s cupboard in the corridor outside their studio.

“They’re very close and can often be seen giggling over neo-nazi magazines together in the canteen,” the insider told us.

“I saw them go into a broom cupboard once, and when they came out, Nigel was really red in the face and Katie’s lipstick was smudged and she was tugging the hem of her skirt down. It was pretty obvious what they’d been up to.”

A leading anthropologist told us last night that any progeny the pair produced would, in all probability, be: “short in stature with a weak chin, bulging, frog-like eyes, a hooked or pointy nose, disproportionately big feet and would probably walk with a hunched or stooping gait.

“When the child reaches maturity and has formed an intellect of sorts it will probably have the appearance and personality of a particularly unpleasant-looking fascist Orc” he concluded.

Both parties denied any romantic link and issued a statement last night: “We categorically deny any impropriety and wish to make it clear that we are just good fiends” (sic)

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