bed
A bed, believed to be similar to the one that Mr Dell scuttled his mother-in-law in, pictured last night

A 35-year-old Whitechapel man has told The Whelk that he felt an “enormous sense of hopelessness and defeat” after his wife caught him having energetic sex in the marital bed with her mother.

Toby Dell, a foundry worker and father of two, told us: “When my wife came home unexpectedly and caught me in the act with her mum I realised that it was all up for me and that there was absolutely no way I was going to get out of this one.

“Initially, I thought of claiming that her mother had been sleepwalking and had got into our bed by mistake but it was 2.30pm in the afternoon.

“I then considered explaining that her mum had been having some kind of epileptic seizure and that I’d been lying on top of her to steady the convulsions, but I quickly realised that this wouldn’t explain why her mother was wearing a French maid’s outfit and that I was naked except for a fireman’s helmet.

“In the end, I just resigned myself to my fate and felt this all-pervading sense of utter hopelessness and defeat descend on me”

Mr Dell’s wife has now started divorce proceedings and has left the marital home. Her present whereabouts is unknown, although it is not believed that she has gone back to live with her mother.

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